Once I master anger and love Chris Wakeford…..

There is a lot we don’t yet know about anger, but we are beginning to make some real progress in understanding it. Anger is very common, and does more harm than any other behavior. When you feel angry, blow your cool, and turn into that negative “other” person. Events, situations and people respond to you in a similar manner. There’s a better way. There’s no need to tear ourselves up inside or take it out on others. By learning means of preventing or coping with anger in ourselves and in others we can understand how to recognize the arousal curve and accept the necessity of anger management techniques.
To over-simplify a bit, we seem to be motivated by two basic emotions, happy or angry. And seratonin seems to be the switch that turns off anger. When enough seratonin is secreted we feel happy. Our brain is equipped with scanning devices that are always looking for anything that is threatening. Even in our sleep when the internal alarm goes off we can be aroused very quickly and be ready for flight or fight.
Our internal alarm system triggers the release of adrenaline to heighten our awareness and responsiveness. This gives our blood stream and muscles a quick supply of glucose so we can run fast and make quick decisions. Also we may have a burst of histamines to ward off infections. A whole complex of glandular and physical arousal occurs. If you have been driving a car and had or nearly had an accident you know what this rush of stimulation feels like.
Skydiving, bungie jumping or riding a roller coaster are examples of the kind of adrenaline “thrill. ” This rush of stimulation to the body’s chemistry is also intimately involved in addictive behavior. It’s a bit like a dog in the yard who barks at passers by. If no one is there to shush the dog or the dog isn’t properly trained what is appropriate behavior, he may become a chronic nuisance. This bad habit may have started because the dog may just be bored or not have any better to do.
In the early days of our evolution only those individuals with the quickest reactions may have survived. Only their genes made it into the gene pool. Consequently our species has developed a hair-trigger reaction to threatening conditions. Like the dog that barks too much we may need to re-evaluate what is appropriate.
Situations that stress us have increased dramatically in the past few decades, along with he complexity of our lives. Frustration is the feeling we get when we don’t get what we want. Anger is feeling mad in response to frustration or injury. You don’t like what has happened and usually you’d like to get revenge.Aggression is action, i.e. attacking someone.
When our aggression becomes so extreme that we lose self-control, it is said that we are in a rage
.
Aggression must be distinguished from assertiveness which is tactfully and rationally standing up for your own rights; indeed, assertiveness is designed not to hurt others.
Anger can also be distinguished from hostility which is a chronic state of anger. Anger is a temporary response, which we all have, to a particular frustrating situation; hostility is a permanent personality characteristic which certain people have.
When anger is excessive and destructive; it has bad effects health and well being in general.  It is apparent that irrational beliefs drive a person’s anger to violence; magnifying the immediate circumstances, demonizing an opponent, and setting unrealistic and unattainable standards for oneself and others. We know know that depression is a form of anger turned against the self.
Anger and aggression come in many forms, some quite subtle, and anger is frequently concealed or a disguised emotion. One common way of expressing suppressed anger has been given a special name: passive-aggressiveness. There is another related form of concealed anger: feeling like a victim. Both thepassive-aggressive and the victim are likely to deny or be unaware of their anger.
Anger just naturally results from frustration. Aggression also has a chemical, hormonal basis too
.
Anger hormones have a similarity to methamphetamine, and are addictive and intoxicating.
Distancing ourselves from anger intoxication affords time out to “sober up” and recognize the differences between constructive differences of opinion and destructive disagreements, conflicts and incitement to violence. By using techniques like bio-feedback, progressive relation , and even meditation, we can overcome habitual anger.
As with alcoholism, apparently there is also a genetic or inherited element to aggressive behavior and chronic anger. An example is that certain breeds of dogs, like Pit Bulls, are more vicious than others. Also, more aggressive breeds can be developed, e.g. rats or fighting chickens and bulls. A large survey of adopted children has found that living with an adoptive parent who committed crimes is less risky than merely having the genes from a person who committed crimes.
Other factors now known to be contributing to irritability and aggression are hotter temperatures,  hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), high testosterone levels (male sex hormone), and brain damage or dysfunction. There is also clear evidence that drug abuse and alcohol consumption and  release aggression.
Chronically angry people may have a dual or good guy/bad guy personality which is the core of co-dependency. And co-dependency can be express between two people or between many, as when as political figure embodies innate aggressions. Great atrocities are attributed to crazed men–Hitler, Stalin, terrorists, etc. But, ordinary people can rather easily become evil enough to discriminate against, hurt, and brutalize others.
It isn’t just the prejudiced and deranged that brutalize. There is scary evidence that almost all of us might, under the right conditions, develop a tolerance or a rationalization for injustice. Even the most moral among us may just look the other way. We strongly resist thinking of ourselves as potentially mean, but we have no trouble believing that others are immoral. Like any other addictive behavior, denial is integral to the problem of anger.
The crime rate soars and  prisons overflow. Infidelity and spouse abuse, prejudice, rape and murder are rampant.  Even within the family– supposedly our refuge, our safe place, our source of love–there is much violence. Such self-serving and aggressive urges probably helped  humans survive one million years ago but threatens our survival today. The socialization process, i.e. becoming a mature person, involves taming these destructive, savage tendencies.
Anger is innate, but we can and must learn to suppress aggression. Weapons, terrorism, and media violence have proliferated along with increased population density. But has there been an increase in anything that would balance the scales? Are we becoming more tolerant, forgiving, and compassionate? How can this be accomplished? The sooner we deal with these issues, the better the quality of our lives will become. and the sooner we can begin finding our bliss.
We know that anger management techniques actually work. We also know that inner peace is primarily a matter of attention and desire. But will we focus our attention and purpose to these ends? Each of can begin making some headway by learning to recognize anger and unkindness within our own minds and hearts and adjust our behavior accordingly.
Clearly we reward competitive behavior. Men are particularly expected to be goal oriented, to win, to capture the trophy, to “bring home the bacon.” In insidious ways we are taught that only the ones at the top of the heap earn the right to feel good. Fishing and hunting and sports are expected to make us feel good. But most competitions have only one (or at best a few) winners. All the other participants usually are not considered to be winners and are offered no appropriate mode of feeling and behavior that is redeeming or constructive.
We have learned that the brain chemistry in most residents of mental and penal institutions have detectable differences from the general population. Although we don’t yet undertand this, we continue to be quick to punish and criminalize anti-social behavior, but offer little in the way of alternatives or rehabilitation. Ignoring these issues won’t make them go away, but will make it worse. In fact, if the present rates don’t change it will only be a few decades (statistically) until the entire population is institutionalized.
The damage that has been done to women by being devalued for so long is mirrored by the implied disrespect for men who exhibit humility and kindness. Qualities like constancy, compassion,  and selflessness are not properly acknowledged and extolled, especially in the media. In fact the media, which is driven by commercialism and box office ratings, literally preys on innocence, since it is danger and violence that command our attention the most.
“Humans are collectors, rememberers, holders of the past. Our reluctance to give up one old pattern, one old thought, one old memory, is so deeply a part of our make-up, that the ability to move forward is already impeded beyond any further action.
Our momentoes become an historical prison, dooming us to the repetition, or near repetition of our past. What we believe worked no longer works, because we cannot go back to where we were. A memory is nothing more than than a myth of what we wish to believe, not a record of what really happened. What we recall is what we want to recall and the longer we are removed in time and experience from the original experience, the more distorted the picture.
This is one reason we keep repeating war. In time, no matter how horrible the war has been, we outgrow it. Instead of seeing the horror we change the picture to heroics and weave strange and mystical tales of our victories and conquests. And when the stories begin to lose their meaning, we have another war.”    – Gregge Tiffen

There is a lot we don’t yet know about anger, but we are beginning to make some real progress in understanding it. Anger is very common, and does more harm than any other behavior. When you feel angry, blow your cool, and turn into that negative “other” person. Events, situations and people respond to you in a similar manner. There’s a better way. There’s no need to tear ourselves up inside or take it out on others. By learning means of preventing or coping with anger in ourselves and in others we can understand how to recognize the arousal curve and accept the necessity of anger management techniques.
To over-simplify a bit, we seem to be motivated by two basic emotions, happy or angry. And seratonin seems to be the switch that turns off anger. When enough seratonin is secreted we feel happy. Our brain is equipped with scanning devices that are always looking for anything that is threatening. Even in our sleep when the internal alarm goes off we can be aroused very quickly and be ready for flight or fight.
Our internal alarm system triggers the release of adrenaline to heighten our awareness and responsiveness. This gives our blood stream and muscles a quick supply of glucose so we can run fast and make quick decisions. Also we may have a burst of histamines to ward off infections. A whole complex of glandular and physical arousal occurs. If you have been driving a car and had or nearly had an accident you know what this rush of stimulation feels like.
Skydiving, bungie jumping or riding a roller coaster are examples of the kind of adrenaline “thrill. ” This rush of stimulation to the body’s chemistry is also intimately involved in addictive behavior. It’s a bit like a dog in the yard who barks at passers by. If no one is there to shush the dog or the dog isn’t properly trained what is appropriate behavior, he may become a chronic nuisance. This bad habit may have started because the dog may just be bored or not have any better to do.
In the early days of our evolution only those individuals with the quickest reactions may have survived. Only their genes made it into the gene pool. Consequently our species has developed a hair-trigger reaction to threatening conditions. Like the dog that barks too much we may need to re-evaluate what is appropriate.
Situations that stress us have increased dramatically in the past few decades, along with he complexity of our lives. Frustration is the feeling we get when we don’t get what we want. Anger is feeling mad in response to frustration or injury. You don’t like what has happened and usually you’d like to get revenge.Aggression is action, i.e. attacking someone.
When our aggression becomes so extreme that we lose self-control, it is said that we are in a rage.Aggression must be distinguished from assertiveness which is tactfully and rationally standing up for your own rights; indeed, assertiveness is designed not to hurt others. Anger can also be distinguished from hostility which is a chronic state of anger. Anger is a temporary response, which we all have, to a particular frustrating situation; hostility is a permanent personality characteristic which certain people have.When anger is excessive and destructive; it has bad effects health and well being in general.  It is apparent that irrational beliefs drive a person’s anger to violence; magnifying the immediate circumstances, demonizing an opponent, and setting unrealistic and unattainable standards for oneself and others. We know know that depression is a form of anger turned against the self.
Anger and aggression come in many forms, some quite subtle, and anger is frequently concealed or a disguised emotion. One common way of expressing suppressed anger has been given a special name: passive-aggressiveness. There is another related form of concealed anger: feeling like a victim. Both thepassive-aggressive and the victim are likely to deny or be unaware of their anger.
Anger just naturally results from frustration. Aggression also has a chemical, hormonal basis too.Anger hormones have a similarity to methamphetamine, and are addictive and intoxicating.  Distancing ourselves from anger intoxication affords time out to “sober up” and recognize the differences between constructive differences of opinion and destructive disagreements, conflicts and incitement to violence. By using techniques like bio-feedback, progressive relation , and even meditation, we can overcome habitual anger.As with alcoholism, apparently there is also a genetic or inherited element to aggressive behavior and chronic anger. An example is that certain breeds of dogs, like Pit Bulls, are more vicious than others. Also, more aggressive breeds can be developed, e.g. rats or fighting chickens and bulls. A large survey of adopted children has found that living with an adoptive parent who committed crimes is less risky than merely having the genes from a person who committed crimes.
Other factors now known to be contributing to irritability and aggression are hotter temperatures,  hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), high testosterone levels (male sex hormone), and brain damage or dysfunction. There is also clear evidence that drug abuse and alcohol consumption and  release aggression.
Chronically angry people may have a dual or good guy/bad guy personality which is the core of co-dependency. And co-dependency can be express between two people or between many, as when as political figure embodies innate aggressions. Great atrocities are attributed to crazed men–Hitler, Stalin, terrorists, etc. But, ordinary people can rather easily become evil enough to discriminate against, hurt, and brutalize others.
It isn’t just the prejudiced and deranged that brutalize. There is scary evidence that almost all of us might, under the right conditions, develop a tolerance or a rationalization for injustice. Even the most moral among us may just look the other way. We strongly resist thinking of ourselves as potentially mean, but we have no trouble believing that others are immoral. Like any other addictive behavior, denial is integral to the problem of anger.
The crime rate soars and  prisons overflow. Infidelity and spouse abuse, prejudice, rape and murder are rampant.  Even within the family– supposedly our refuge, our safe place, our source of love–there is much violence. Such self-serving and aggressive urges probably helped  humans survive one million years ago but threatens our survival today. The socialization process, i.e. becoming a mature person, involves taming these destructive, savage tendencies.
Anger is innate, but we can and must learn to suppress aggression. Weapons, terrorism, and media violence have proliferated along with increased population density. But has there been an increase in anything that would balance the scales? Are we becoming more tolerant, forgiving, and compassionate? How can this be accomplished? The sooner we deal with these issues, the better the quality of our lives will become. and the sooner we can begin finding our bliss.
We know that anger management techniques actually work. We also know that inner peace is primarily a matter of attention and desire. But will we focus our attention and purpose to these ends? Each of can begin making some headway by learning to recognize anger and unkindness within our own minds and hearts and adjust our behavior accordingly.
Clearly we reward competitive behavior. Men are particularly expected to be goal oriented, to win, to capture the trophy, to “bring home the bacon.” In insidious ways we are taught that only the ones at the top of the heap earn the right to feel good. Fishing and hunting and sports are expected to make us feel good. But most competitions have only one (or at best a few) winners. All the other participants usually are not considered to be winners and are offered no appropriate mode of feeling and behavior that is redeeming or constructive.
We have learned that the brain chemistry in most residents of mental and penal institutions have detectable differences from the general population. Although we don’t yet undertand this, we continue to be quick to punish and criminalize anti-social behavior, but offer little in the way of alternatives or rehabilitation. Ignoring these issues won’t make them go away, but will make it worse. In fact, if the present rates don’t change it will only be a few decades (statistically) until the entire population is institutionalized.
The damage that has been done to women by being devalued for so long is mirrored by the implied disrespect for men who exhibit humility and kindness. Qualities like constancy, compassion,  and selflessness are not properly acknowledged and extolled, especially in the media. In fact the media, which is driven by commercialism and box office ratings, literally preys on innocence, since it is danger and violence that command our attention the most.
“Humans are collectors, rememberers, holders of the past. Our reluctance to give up one old pattern, one old thought, one old memory, is so deeply a part of our make-up, that the ability to move forward is already impeded beyond any further action.Our momentoes become an historical prison, dooming us to the repetition, or near repetition of our past. What we believe worked no longer works, because we cannot go back to where we were. A memory is nothing more than than a myth of what we wish to believe, not a record of what really happened. What we recall is what we want to recall and the longer we are removed in time and experience from the original experience, the more distorted the picture.
This is one reason we keep repeating war. In time, no matter how horrible the war has been, we outgrow it. Instead of seeing the horror we change the picture to heroics and weave strange and mystical tales of our victories and conquests. And when the stories begin to lose their meaning, we have another war.”    – Gregge Tiffen

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